Back when I started this comic I was very adamant about improving both my artistic and writing abilities with daily practice. Here is an old writing exercise I found buried in sent mail folder. It involves characters created by Tolkien, over whom I claim no creative control nor copyright.
“From now on, I shall be known as Saruman the Smelly,” said Saruman the Wise, as he farted loudly.
The sound was explosive and reverberated in the marble halls, seemingly moving around the room of its own accord.
The others gathered there were not impressed. Seated around a white marble table of intricate design were many wise and powerful beings of ancient magic indeed. Among them were Gandalf Greymane, Galadrial of the Woodland Realm, Sauron the Maia, and Elrond Half-Elven.
As the stench of Saruman’s untimely flatulence began to permeate the room, Sauron stood up in silence, his physical form appearing as both that of a fiery eye with a flickering black pupil and a darkened, cloaked figure within that pupil, simultaneously.
Sauron said nothing, but as the foul odor within the room suddenly changed and grew far worse, it became clear to the others that he too, had farted. It hung in the air like a cloud of sulfurous discharge with notes of brimstone.
“Who farted?” Elrond demanded with impatience and anger in his voice, as he too began to stand, slowly rising out of the chair in which he was seated.
“It was Sauron!” shouted Saruman the Smelly, as he continued to intermittently let loose tiny, almost silent farts as he spoke.
“Saruman, you started this madness!” exclaimed Gandalf, punctuating his accusation by rapping the hilt of his staff firmly against the cold marble floor.
“Let’s not be hasty,” replied Saruman as he continued to fart nervously into his flowing wizard’s robes.
The vile stench was growing around them, and despite being beings of heavenly origin and immense magical power, they suffered it with growing discomfort. Many snorted and cried out, covering their faces with flowing garments or long sleeves.
“You’re both still farting right now, are you not?!” Elrond demanded of them, fully standing now, his Elven blade drawn from its sheath, curved and glinting in the soft glowing light that illuminated the room.
Both Saruman and Sauron remained impassive and expressionless as they were wont to do, not willing to give anything away.
“Well, I don’t see why I should be the one to clear the air.” said Gandalf. “If anyone should have to exert any magical energy, it should be those two.” He gestured with his staff towards Sauron and Saruman the Smelly.
“LORDS OF THE FIRSTBORN!” exclaimed Galadrial as she stood up forcefully, pushing her chair backwards.
She became surrounded with a shroud of magic energies drawn from the void, an aura of swirling darkness with currents of dark green and blue flowing within it.
In that moment of emotion, she unconsciously brought her magical strength to bear, forming a tempest of energy that swirled about her person, whipping her
flowing robes and hair as it churned.“YOU’VE ALL BEEN FARTING THIS ENTIRE TIME!” she shouted. Her voice reverberated in the tiny space with the might of a being older than Middle Earth itself, resounding as if it were somehow both one voice and one-thousand, roaring in unison.
Yes, that’s the end. Sorry for the poor editing, understanding of LOTR lore, and so on and so forth. I hope you laughed a little bit. Bodily function humor usually has me giggling like a small child, so I hope you can forgive my extreme immaturity.